I first came across The Orphanage in Cecile's blog and wondered if they'll ever show the movie here. I was glad when I saw they were selling the DVD of it at Ruins.
El Orfanato or The Orphanage for non-Spanish speaking readers is about Laura who buys the orphanage where she grew up in. Once there, the imagination of her son goes haywire (as if it isn't already). Laura lets all the weirdness slide until things get totally wacko so she calls in a psychic to give the place a good mental feel.
The film stars Belen Rueda and Roger Princep and is directed by Oscar Nominee Guillermo del Toro of Blade 2 and Hellboy fame.
If I have a son, I want him to look as cute as this kid
* Spoiler Alert*
Orphanage Lady: Laura! Come inside! Since you're the only "normal" child who lives here, you've been adopted! Yey! Leave the other freak show children to play together.
Many years later...
Laura to Husband: Hey! Remember that orphanage I used to live in? Let's buy it and make it a home for other children with special needs.
Laura's Husband: That's a great idea. I sure hope nothing creepy happened there after you got adopted.
Simon, Laura's cute 6-year-old Son: Can my imaginary friends come too?
Laura: Well...I guess so although I don't know where to put them. We'll be a full house once we have 5 to 6 special kids here. Anyhoo, take your as-yet unexplained medication. [they start to hear CREEPY NOISES in the house]
Simon: Weeeeeeeeeee!!!!! I have more imaginary friends now!! Off with the old, on with the new!!
Laura: Cmon kiddo, why don't we go play in that dangerous cave by the beach? You go inside while I collect shells out here. [Simon finds another imaginary friend inside the cave]
Back at home...
Weird Lady: Hi. Can we talk about your son's file, which by the way, just arrived on my doorstep? I'm a social worker. Like, for real.
Laura: Sure, come on in and have a cup of --waaaaaiiiit aaaa miiinnnute. Simon's file has been closed for years. He doesn't know that he's adopted, or that he is HIV positive. Like, shoo! go away!
Weird Lady: Oh. Ok. Whatevs. Nevermind. Bye. [Laura locks the file in a drawer with the most elaborate key ever - even more elaborate than the ones Nicole Kidman had in The Others]
Simon: My friends want to play a game. They take something you love and then you have to find it! Look, they took my coins! [they do an Amazing Race around the house looking for the coins, which are hidden in the very same drawer the file was in]
Simon: You're not my mother! You're a liar!
Laura: Uhm...yeah. Sorry. We meant to tell you when you got a bit older but since you already do.... can we have the opening party for the new children's home now? [they have a party with masks, which always leads to confusion and/or panic]
Simon: You're not my mother! You're a liar!
Laura: *slaps Simon* If you don't want to go out and be a gracious host and serve these cheap hors d'oeuvers, then don't!
Laura: Hey, where's Simon? [she starts unmasking everyone at the party including the adults. duh.] Seriously, where's my kid? [they look everywhere but he is totally gone. she looks for him, but finds only a weird kid with a straw mask and a bad case of asthma who shuts her hand in the bathroom door - ouchies!]
Police Psychologist: We'll try to find him, and this weird lady you mentioned although there could be a billion women, as you described, who are in their 70's with pale eyes and white hair. Hmm..
Laura's Husband: Here, wear my St. Anthony medal. Give it back when you find Simon.
[Laura sees the weird lady on the street, but only seconds before she gets plowed down by a van. That's what you get when you stop in the middle of the street when someone calls out to you]
Laura: Hey! That biatch's whistle is the same whistle I hear in my house. [she tries to touch it, but the weird lady, who looks seriously dead, grabs her hand]
Laura: Okay, time to bring in a psychic. [they hire a psychic to figure out what's going on]
Psychic: I hear them! The children! Someone's poisoned them!
Police Psychologist: We figured out who that weird lady was. She had a son who also lived at the orphanage, but he was hideously deformed and wore a straw mask. Some of the other children accidentally killed him. [Laura goes searches for why the weird lady might have been nosing around and finds cremated remains of the other orphans hidden in the shed]
Laura: Oh...the spirits are sad because the weird lady killed them with poisoned blackberries in retribution for her son's death. I know what I have to do, and I must do it while wearing this figure deceiving orphanage attendant uniform. [she sets the orphanage up the way it was in the past so the spirits feel at home, and they appear and lead her to the basement, where she finds her son's corpse wearing the stupid straw mask, because he got stuck in the basement after his bright mother jammed the door so he fell down the stairs and died]
Laura: Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!! [she pops a frightful amount of pills and flings off the medal as her son and the other orphans suddenly gather before her. Obviously, she's died and gone to orphanage heaven]
Laura: I will take care of you now... err... forever rather. [Laura's husband puts a single rose at a memorial for his wife and the kids and then finds the medal on the ground in the room where she decides to go bye bye, glances up knows in his heart that she and their son are together]
The End.
