Air Travel

I’m traveling. And I’ve already learned a valuable lesson.

Traveling sucks ass.

After traveling a lot in my former “employed” life, I’ll share with you a few people everyone meets while traveling.

1. The Guy With The Disgusting Socks.

It’s not very often that you’re asked to remove your shoes in a public place, so it’s always exciting to judge the people you travel with based entirely on their socks.

Like this dude I saw with these gross-ass holes in his socks. Foot-fat bursting through fabric, unable to remain contained. A toenail greeting the open air. Hair, all over.

Who’s doing that guy?

I need to know.

2. The Only Chick Following Along During The Safety Procedures.

When the flight attendants play the CD that discuss all the safety procedures, they ask you to pull out your safety card and follow along.

Most people respond by zoning out into a coma.

But there’s one chick who actually follows along. I’ve always wanted her to get all outraged. At least that would be exciting.

Excuse me, but you just said in case of water landing, we’d have to exit through the side safety doors. I don’t see that in figure 2C. The doors illustrated in figure 2C look like front doors to me. I’m sorry. Did we all just wake up this morning to a world where front doors are suddenly renamed side doors?

Yeah. That’s right.

Correct yourself.

3. The One Guy Who Needs To Play With That Jet Fan Thing Next To The Courtesy Light.

What is that thing? A fan? How is that going to help you sir? How. There’s no amount of adjusting that will change the setting from “crap-air blowing in your face.”

4. That Dude Who Needs To Tell You What His Favorite Airports Are So He Can Show Off That He Travels.

This place is OK but it’s nothing like terminal D at DFW. That’s a well-designed terminal.

Really.

The best Starbucks I’ve ever been to is in Concourse H at O’Hare. Nothing beats it.

Oh no way.

Concourse A in Hartsfield has a great little pizza place. You should try it sometime.

You know this dude’s the only jerkoff at his work that will accept all travel assignments. Everyone else has a life, family, friends, anything. Not this guy.

He needs to affirm his self-worth to strangers by giving them his terminal rankings.

5. The Guy Who Thinks “Zone 4″ Means Something.

On most boarding passes, you’ll find a little stamp that tells you what “zone” you’re in. If it doesn’t say “First Class” it doesn’t mean shit. The zones are just ways they call people up to board the plane.

You always see one guy who will line up to board immediately.

Then be told he can’t board.

Then look at his boarding pass.

See his zone.

And never embrace the gripping reality of being poor.

You’re in Zone 4, bitch. Accept it like the rest of us.

6. The Dude Who’s Still Upset You Don’t Get Food On Your Flight.

He’s still talking about the days when you got a full meal and hot towels.

Why would you even want that shit, sir? It tastes like drywall.

7. That One Annoying-Ass Kid.

Every time you travel, there’s always one kid. Always one shithead kid you can’t believe can just run around screaming and yelling with his parents just sitting there doing absolutely nothing because you know they grew up as shitheads and probably raised by another bunch of shitheads and then finally the kid farts in my tea.

Yes.

Farts in my tea.

[From Tremendousnews]

Hey little Johnny from Jersey!

Go fuck yourself.

8. The One Guy Who Needs To Recline His Chair Immediately.

Oh, did that 1 inch recline help you, sir? Are you comfortable? Does it feel like you’re at home, kicking back watching the game?

Because you’re an idiot.

9. The Flight Attendant Who’s Really Nice To You On The Plane But Then You See Her In Baggage Claim And She Pretends That She Doesn’t Know You.

What are they, strippers?

10. The People Who Clap When The Plane Lands.

It’s not a Broadway production, dummies. He’s landing the plane. That’s what’s supposed to happen.

Spam-alot

Yes, curiosity does kill the cat. But in this case, it killed my Twitter account. I clicked on a link a friend had posted that said "Want More Followers?" and being the twitter whore that I am I did and got hundreds of people that I was suddenly following. It wasn't a pretty sight. I had to unfollow every single one and even had to block the persistent ones until I couldn't take it anymore and just killed my account. So now it's back, same ol' random shnazz. So if you need comedic relief or find useless information, well, useful (because you'll never know when you might need to tell someone that you know what the most unhealthy food ever are), search alexeivllaraza.

WTF

Pssstt

The fashion and music industries have "banded" together to continue the giving. "Hoy, hoy, Ondoy!" is a concert event organized by a couple of concerned civilians from the different industries of fashion, music, multi-media and real estate to continue relief efforts from the youth sector for the victims of typhoon Ondoy. "This event is for all the volunteers and the victims. We know these are trying times, that's why we should continue to inspire each other," says one of the organizers.

A minimum of donation 100PHP will serve as entrance fee for a full night's concert at the NBC Tent at the Fort, which will also serve as drop off point for donations and relief goods all day till midnight. Fashion designers have a corner where their clothes--from Rajo Laurel, Dennis Lustico, Patrice Ramos-Diaz, Charina Sarte and Rhett Eala--will be auctioned off to interested bidders. Thai Airways willl also auction off airline tickets all for charity. Embassy will serve bar. Artists have joined the cause, too. Team Manila will set up a booth with specially designed posters while Revo Naval will set up an art installation and give out limited edition "change for change" Peace, Love and Revolution stickers.

All proceeds from the ticket sales, auction and bar will go to the Philippine National Red Cross and other chosen charities.

The Final Roster for “Hoy, Hoy, Ondoy” - in order of appearance are Paraluman, Us-2 Evil-0, 6CycleMind, Mayonnaise, Dice & K9/ Mobbstarr, Zach and The Actionpact, Cueshe, Imago, Angulo, Kastigo, SinoSikat?, Southern Grass, Hilera, Blue Jean Junkies featuring Jaime Wilson, Session Road, The Philippine All Stars, Hale, Camerawalls, Miguel Escueta, The Blue Rats, Johnny Alegre, Noli Aurillo & Emee Fortuno, DRT, Joey Ayala, Kjwan, Pedicab, Peryodiko and Sandwich.

Guest celebrities and personalities will take turns hosting while others will talk about climate change and how all of us should act now. "We are doing this in the spirit of bayanihan. We should continue giving, continue living. Ituloy natin ang pagtulong, Pilipino!" Everyone is invited.

Star support

So that typhoon totally sucked. It not only foiled my plans last Saturday, it totally messed up everybody else's lives too. I was on my way somewhere when I was caught in the intersection of ayala-paseo. I spied a BMW M5 being pushed on the other side of the street across Stock Exchange so I decided not to even bother force my lil ol' B through the murky water. I tried to pass the other end of Paseo where McD's is but when I got there, a Camry was already being pushed by like, 5 men. Scared of being stalled, I reversed and parked in Greenbelt and spent a couple of hours aimlessly walking around the mall. Surprisingly, I didn't buy anything. Obviously, nobody was prepared to get wet and wild. Who knew that amount of rainfall can turn areas into Waterworld? And thanks to Twitter and Facebook, I knew what was happening out there while I was chugging glass after glass of Black Gulaman because that was the only thing I had loads of in the condo. Oh, and chili oil and god knows I won't touch that. The amount of concern is indeed overwhelming and it's great that everyone is doing their part in helping out - even celebrities! I heard Christine Reyes was saved by Richard Gutierrez who was on a speedboat (uh, ookkkaayy...), Jericho surfed to save (his arms must hurt from all that paddling), and Kim Chiu's ka-love team braved the flood and swam, pointed, stood on a wall, and swam some more. I wonder if all this compassion will continue even when everyone's high and dry.

Grub review: Johnny Rockets

There's something about diners that is very comforting. It could be because you get this friendly neighborhood feeling where you can ask the matronly waitress what the special is or ask for a cup of coffee. You won't find that in Johnny Rockets. We've been looking forward to it for months and after dining there, it was more of a raket than a blast. Burger patties were thin and half cooked. Bread tasted like it was a day old. Lights too bright. Music too loud. Service halts when certain songs are played because practically the entire staff burst into a song and dance routine. With price points that range from P250-P400 for the burgers, salads, shakes, and dessert, you're better off going to Stackers where they are more affordable. Houston, we have a problem. Johnny Rockets is located at Eastwood Mall.

Treinta

In about 48 hours, you'll be turning 30. I know you've been looking forward to it since you turned, uh, 29. You're probably not as excited as you thought you'd be, at least the turning a year older part. I know it's the roadtrip that's getting you all riled up. Why else would you still be wide awake at 12:27am when you know you have to be up at 5:30am to skip the city for what will be one of the best 4 day weekends everrrrrr?

No, really, why are you still up?

Are you contemplating about becoming older? What the weather will be like? Why does Ocean Adventure have to charge that much to swim with the dolphins and whales? What you have to pack?

Look, being 30 - although quite a nice and solid number - is an age you shouldn't be afraid of. Think of it as starting over. Or realizing that you really have to get your act together. There's no point in putting yourself down because really, in all the 29 years, you've learned more than the idiots who surround you.

You’ve learned that as you’ve gotten older, you've become more comfortable in your own skin. And when you aren't there's nothing a KI injection at Belo can't fix.

You’ve learned that doing the right thing, means doing the right thing by your standards, not someone else’s. Which also translates to: You.just.dont.care - and sometimes, that's a good thing.

You’ve learned that you don’t have to settle. Unless you're buying something you like and its only available in an okay-colour so you get that anyway for the sake of finally getting it.

You’ve learned that trust is one of the most significant aspects of any relationship. And to lose it, usually means losing the relationship.

You've learned to accept the fact that you are worthy of significant relationships and you don't have to click "self destruct" mode when things get intense.

You've learned how to compromise. Yeah, you learned that when you watched that flick with Nick Nolte and the really ugly brat. Didn't his love interest drive an SL500? Hhmm..

You’ve learned that you're capable of independence. And at the same time learned that its such an expensive thing, this independence mumbo jumbo.

You've learned that sometimes, one's past (blog, former self, etc) doesn't matter. You can always reset the timer.

You’ve learned that it's not the number of friends that you have but the kind of friends you keep that matters.

You've learned to be more practical. Unfortunately, it looks like it's going to be that way for a long time so you can kiss buying that LV Tadao goodbye. You've taught yourself to drive like Miss Daisy cause being a Speed Racer is so juvenile. Plus, it's an expensive experience when things get pot holed. At some point, the little things shouldn't really bother you and you actually don't let it. You've also realized that vitamins are good for you. You have a sudden liking for yoghurt when you never did before. So you see, the life you've lived so far ain't all that bad. If you didn't go through all that, then you would've been more different person. Besides, 30 is the new 20.

A star is born

There are millions of people trying to get noticed on the Web, with everything from blogs to podcasts to videos. So with the huge glut of material out there, how do amateurs get attention -- let alone become bona fide online stars? How, for instance, did an Arizona woman by the ID “Grammar Girl” giving grammar advice get to be one of the most popular podcasts on iTunes? And how do independent video series like "Ask a Ninja" or "LonelyGirl15" draw hundreds of thousands of online viewers for each episode? It turns out that success in the new-media world depends on a lot of the same things as in the old-media universe – talent, timing, good looks, and entertainment value.

Although lacking talent and good looks but oozing with entertainment value is the latest spectacle to hit the video circuit scene, Jessa Bell. An almost toothless singing sensation who was recently was put on the spotlight (with the help other gurlettes aka gay friends) when they recorded her singing songs like Umbrella (her version, Anim na Umbrella), Crazy For You, and Flo Rida's Low.

Que ora es?

I think clock design has always been overlooked so its refreshing to come across those that have interesting designs and features.

Last month, I spied a clock that projects the time on the wall. Available at Dwell in Eastwood, Oregon Scientific's Daylight Projection Clock displays the time and temperature on any flat surface in any lighting condition, automatically adjusting its built-in projector (which you can swivel) depending on how bright it is in a room.

In addition to precise atomic time and indoor and outdoor temperature, the clock sports an infrared motion sensor to snooze your alarm with only a wave of your hand. Class.

Aside from nifty clocks, Dwell also has luxe home furnishings, kitchen appliances, and lighting fixtures.

Dwell is located at the ground floor of Grand Palazzo Condominium, Eastwood City, Libis, Quezon City. Tel. 6671226, 6671266

Wedding wow

I'm sure its going to be a marriage filled with laughter.